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Topic: Dad jokes.

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Zinfandel Expert
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Dad jokes.
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Pigs can't play hockey, because they Hog the puck.

Alumni
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The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

Zinfandel Expert
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Q: Which weighs more, a liter of water, or a liter of Butane?

A: The water of course..Butane is a lighter fluid.

Zinfandel Expert
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I just had to put my foot down



-- Edited by Cbinc on Friday 12th of November 2021 09:28:55 PM

Alumni
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I saw a sign today that said “85 acres of land for sale”. I thought maybe I should look into this, might be a good investment. But then I thought, “ where the hell would I put it?”



Jedi Master
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Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

He didn't habanero

Alumni
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In this digital era, I fear for the traditional paper wall calendar. I think it’s days are numbered.

Alumni
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My dad works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.... He's the spokesman.

Zinfandel Expert
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I bought some velcro shoes, they were a rip off


Zinfandel Expert
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If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughingstock

Zinfandel Expert
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My wife asked me to pick up six cans of Sprite I picked 7 up.

Jedi Master
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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Anything you want, he can't hear you

Zinfandel Expert
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when does a joke become a dad joke....
trust me, it's apparent.

Jedi Master
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Did you know that in Oslo, they put barcodes on the aircraft carriers?

It's so that when they dock, they can Scandinavian.

Jedi Master
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Why did the fisherman put peanut butter on his hook?

He was trying to catch a jellyfish!

Alumni
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At the zoo I saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign on the cage said: BREAD IN CAPTIVITY.



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What do weightlifters in the arctic and Antarctica take?

 

polar roids. 



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what disease do tics in Florida give you?

key lime disease. 



Zinfandel Expert
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A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

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How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.



 
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