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Topic: Dad jokes.

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Alumni
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RE: Dad jokes.
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My pet mouse Elvis died today.
He was caught in a trap!



Confident Fan
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Some of these are very clever. That means I’m getting old.

Confident Fan
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senior wrote:

 

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”He said, "Try the ATM outside"

 


 🤣🤣🤣



Alumni
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Trump leaves the G7 summit for something much bigger than the Israel-Iran conflict. 

It was for, checks notes... 

Big beautiful er**tions of big beautiful poles. 



Pie Connoisseur
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I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”He said, "Try the ATM outside"

 



Zinfandel Expert
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monday- greg
tuesday- Ian
wednesday-greg
thursday-ian
friday-greg
saturday-ian
sunday-greg.

this is a Gregorian Calandar.

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Screenshot 2025-04-16 at 1.09.41 PM.png



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Zinfandel Expert
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"Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."

Alumni
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My cellphone accidentally took a 10 minute video of my shoes yesterday.
It was some pretty good footage.


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Screenshot 2025-03-08 at 4.41.18 PM.png



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I started reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is about to happen - can feel it.



Pie Connoisseur
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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.



Alumni
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This week's forecast calls for rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, tawnaydoes and frizzing colde. Just a really bad spell of weather.



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If you get a message from me about canned meat, don't open it. Its spam. 



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What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope? They kaleidoscope.



Zinfandel Expert
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fishing saved me from being a Pornstar...now I am just a Hooker.

Zinfandel Expert
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if you're not a dad...all your jokes are "faux pa"

Zinfandel Expert
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I played with a dude in his 80’s and one day out of the blue in the lockerroom he looked and said “you know what they call it when I score a hat trick” - I said no then he goes “a Jerry hat trick”

Zinfandel Expert
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the CEO of IKEA has been named the Prime Minister of Sweden. He is still putting his cabinet together...

Alumni
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Cbinc wrote:

sleeve.jpg


Badass



 
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